Chav Magnet

I came across the phrase 'chav magnet' while looking through the ChavTowns website (reading all about Crawley)

It seems to be a term which can be applied to cars, shops, pubs, places, bands, objects, in fact just about anything which would attract a following among the chavvier elements of society. (Just do a search and find the variety of uses)

One site which that search turned up was this one - showing that by last December the term was already heard of in Australia.

Chav Magnet might have been a great name for Goldie Looking Chain if they had not already called themselves GLC, otherwise it would be a great name for any band whose first single is released as a limited edition burberry vinyl 7-incher.
They will probably come from Croydon. Or Reading. Or Bromley. Or maybe even from Crawley

K2

Every weekday morning I go past the new new K2 leisure centre building site.

It is really taking shape now, which is just as well as it should be opening later this year. Its going to have an Olympic-sized pool (just about the only one in the South-East) all the usual facilities and an indoor rock-climbing wall, which is what partly gave it the name K2.

And as I was going to work this morning I thought about that name and thought... "what a great name for a crap band!"

It would, I feel, suit a boyband or one of those reality show runners-up bands who all have names like 5ive or G4.

Living Streets

As with many companies, charities, quangos and the like, the Pedestrian Association has renamed itself as Living Streets

It has a certain ring to it. Any band calling themselves Living Streets will face an amount of confusion with The Streets so it would not suit an urban/garage/hip-hop sort of band. I reckon it sounds like a jazz fusion band personally.

Bonsai Tiger

I have the TV tuned to UKTV G2 and they are running back-to-back endless repeats of the quiz show QI.

It would be too much to go into the the reasons, but Bill Bailey just used the phrase 'bonsai tiger' and I thought... WAGNFAB! It turns out there is a web page called that

The Bonsai Tigers would be a glam rock revival band.

And it just occurs to me that "WAGNFAB" might be a good name for a band too...

Our Survey Said

A catchphrase from TV gameshow Family Fortunes. (The 15th best ever UK gameshow. Apparently)

Before the show 100 people would be asked to answer questions like "Name something you can plug in" and then in the show the contestants would have to guess what answers were most popular. The contestant would give an answer and the host would say "You said that rhubarb is something you can plug in. Our survey said..." and there would usually be a loud uhh-owww noise to indicate the stupidity of the answer.

Easy? Well this site contains some fantastically stupid answers given in the show - like name a number you have to memorise... "7".

I think that Our Survey Said would be just the name for a band who need to attract attention in the listings pages. It will be the single best thing about them.

The School Run

As I typed the words 'school run' just a few minutes ago in this entry I thought to myself... what a great name for a band!

Back when I was a kid we just went to school. Sometimes we would walk, sometimes take the bus. Our parents would walk with us or see us to the bus stop sometimes, but not all the time. It just happened. Nowadays children are unable to walk more than 3 feet apparently so their parents drive them to school, so they can cause traffic chaos around every school, and it reached the stage a while back where it was so accepted that it got its own name 'the school run' just like ' rush hour' did before it.

In my imagination The School Run is a slightly arty or progressive band. Maybe a bit like Radiohead.

The Bog Trolls

A phrase I had never heard until I came across it in Robert Rankin's book The Brightonomicon but a quick search on Google shows 212 results. RR's definition is the same as in the Urban Dictionary - one of those blokes who hangs around in the gents toilets handing out towels and aftershaves.

I see The Bog Trolls being a pub rock or student band, with a strong local following but destined to never hit the big time.

The Chelsea Tractors

Inspired by Ken Livingstone's nickname for 4x4 vehicles, or SUVs as the Americans call them, which are designed for travelling over rough terrain but used to carry a child to school on urban roads.

Here is an example:

Funny how all the pictures on the web sites show these vehicles doing something rugged and rural instead of the school run.

I see The Chelsea Tractors as being maybe a punk or indie band.

Mammatus Clouds

Inspired by this page. I picture Mammatus Clouds doing mostly, or entirely, instrumental music. Maybe a bit like Ozric Tentacles.

Most clouds form in rising air, but mammatus clouds form in sinking air, which is cooler than the air around it and has a high liquid water or ice content. They get their name from the fact that they look like cows' udders.

Here is an example: